To Market, To Market...

One of the greatest perks to living here at Ingleside has been the ability to walk everywhere! It may have been  just the tick on the amenities list that actually tipped the scales in her favor while contemplating the purchase... We found ourselves asking: "How in the world can we NOT live in such a convenient location?" 

We love walking to the grocer, to the coffee shop, to the movies (well, ok, we haven't actually taken advantage of the theatre yet), to the bakery, to the restaurant, to the massage therapist, to the ice cream parlor, to the farmer's market on Saturday mornings...

It's just the best.

And having lived in the country for most of my life, it is the height of luxury to my community-loving soul.

We so enjoy running into friends, making new ones, beginning to establish ourselves as "regulars" at all the local businesses... it's just such an outward way to live, and it's what we'd been hoping to find.

Nice when things don't disappoint, huh?

There's just something about the unhurried act of choosing to walk, and shop, and hang out in your hamlet that says, "I'm open to the possibility of community, to the intersection of lives, to connection." So different from the American par. 

It's refreshing. 

And we're grateful for the opportunity to experience it.

Listening Well

Why has it become so difficult to be HEARD?

Perhaps because of my intrinsic draw toward community and sharing life with others, or maybe because I teach exercise classes that focus on mindfulness and being fully present, but one thing that makes my heart sink clear down to my toes is whenever I feel like someone isn't actually listening to me. It's akin to a good hard kick in the gut. And ya'll, I feel like it's getting worse by the day. Don't you?

It may be the email reply that comes back with only one of your three questions answered...for the second time. Or perhaps the people in church who ask "Hi! How are you?" as they keep walking, with no intention of hearing your reply. Maybe it's my husband who is carrying on an intermittent text conversation through the evening hours and then asks questions the next morning that I already gave him answers to the night before. Then there was the vet tech who was asking about Caroline's recent injury, and I mentioned three or four times how she has been favoring her back left leg, but when she went to type up her summary asked, "Is she favoring any of her legs?" *bangs head against wall* All of these examples happened to me just this past week, FYI.

In the social media world, I've seen this showing up so much lately. People write a very clear informational sales post: including size, condition, age, price, etc... Then two or three people comment instantly below asking: what size is this? What price are you asking? When, if they would have just thoroughly read the original post, they would have clearly found the answers they were looking for. Or on Instagram when somebody comments "This is awesome!!" on a post that was actually about your dog dying.

Is this the ultimate disrespect?? Is it telling people, "I don't care enough about this interaction to be here present in it...you're not worth the energy it takes to listen."

But what has caused this epidemic? Why can't we listen well anymore?

Though by no means a professional, I feel that much of this decline has come through the transient one-sided-ness that characterizes present-day social interaction. You can easily see whatever people are in the mood to share (whenever it's convenient for you) by choosing to click open Facebook, Instagram, Periscope, Snapchat, etc.. - BUT you have no obligation to interact with the conversation they've started, so you consequently have no vested interest and therefore no reason to fully be present in it - i.e. really hearing/registering what they say. In fact, if it bores you, you just click along to the next post in your feed... AmIRight???

This learned way of interacting seems to be subtly teaching us how to be pretty darn rotten friends/neighbors/professionals/etc., and, zoom out a bit: people whose brains don't know how to "land". Constantly hovering, ever looking for the next thing, the next post, constant distraction, entertainment, darting to and fro like ADD riddled hummingbirds.

Sure, maybe that's a strong concept. But think about how comfortable you are with truly being present in any given moment. Can you go out on a date, and happily leave your phone at home (or in the car)? Can you put your iPad away, open the windows and do nothing but listen to the rain? Can you do something fun or make something cute, and not have the urge to 'Gram it?

 If you know us, you know that answering "no" to any of the questions in the last paragraph is the antithesis of slow living - a lifestyle we are passionate about bringing awareness toward. Living slow simply means the practice of being fully present in each of these moments we've been given. It means savoring life.

It means listening well. 

Do I think social media is from the devil? Hello! Of course not. I actually think it can be an impetus for wonderful things! But I do think we can all learn to be more present in social media just as we can in real life. To comment, not just "like", to reach out when someone felt vulnerable enough to share their heart, to encourage, to engage with real life friends IN real life about what they've recently posted.

 To listen (not just skim and click).

Can one person start a listening revolution? Doubtful. 

But I can hope that today you heard...and that you'll share this message with others who will hear.

I can hope that tonight as you go home to your family or roommates, and tomorrow as you walk through your day, you will learn to "un-plug" sometimes so that you can plug-in to those relationships and interactions and let the people that cross your path know that they are worth the effort of listening to.

____________________

It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood!

One of THE absolute best thing about our transient home downtown, has been our neighbors.

We always craved community life while we lived at Windy Poplars (which was located in a country neighborhood where people lived because they wanted to be left alone). In our romantical minds, we had visions of finding a fabulous apartment complex where everybody knew everybody, and regularly hung out after work... That's how things are when you live in communal housing, right? Obviously, my husband and I had never done this before... But as we shared that idealistic hope with friends, they would share story after story of how they never even met the people who lived on either side of them during their years of apartment tenant-ing. 

Moving ahead with trepidation: we find our floft (loft+flat = floft in case you're new to the game), move in, and meet a couple neighbors right off the bat who seem potentially friendly during the move-in process...And some who don't.

Our hopes lifted ever-so-slightly-ish.

A few weeks go by, and once we'd settled in and collected enough chairs for company, we decided to host a Hot Cider Social and take a stab at blindly inviting the people who live behind the doors of the "Back Alley" - the length of our hall has maybe 8 doors or so, and 6 of us have our own entrances, so we don't necessarily run into each other coming and going inside the building. Jesse's cautiously optimistic that maybe 2 will show. I had zero expectations. A day of crickets went by, but then lo and behold the RSVPs start rolling in! Nearly every.single.neighbor. came by for a bit during that open-house style social, and most of them were meeting each other for the first time (even though some have lived here for years! What??!). We've gotten together with many of them often since then...some for dessert, some for wine, some for tea, some for dinner, some to celebrate, some for conversation on the terrace... It's been such a gift getting to know these people!

Nothing makes my heart happier than a neighbor popping in wearing socks and sweats to share some snacks and what's been going on lately in their life - or a neighbor knocking on the door on their way home from work excited to tell us about their new job offer - or a neighbors girl's day complete with manis and face masks - one bringing over a DVD they thought we would enjoy - or many tea times full of relaxed newsy put-your-feet-up chat - or one texting to borrow a blow dryer - another to borrow some fresh lemon - or one bringing over some stew to share that came out extra yummy... 

We just adore our neighbors, are so thankful to find that community in apartment complexes CAN exist, and already feel a little tinge of sadness that we all won't be living here on the back alley together forever!