Life Updates Aren't Always Fun...

And this one sure isn't.

I'd hoped to be celebrating the eminent closing on our land and gearing up excitedly for breaking ground with this post, but sadly, we walked around the bend in our road last Friday and found that due to the result of the studies we had done, the land was not meant to be a part of that next chapter of our life. And a few of our dreams seemed to die along with our contract...

Also, when we looked around that same bend in our road, we couldn't see a very clear outline of our Chesterly there with us, happily cantering along on the end of his leash, poofy ears and tail bobbing. And that thought shatters our hearts into a million pieces. He had two grand mal seizures over the weekend, and we are still recovering from the agony and exhaustion of them as we see each seizure take away another little piece of his weary soul.

I spent a good portion of a day in tears as we discussed when Chester's journey over the rainbow bridge should be, and how in the world we will know when that time has come. When you know that each day will likely be more difficult than the last, and watch normal tasks become harder and harder, seeing that he spends more time falling over than standing up, and that all life seems to consist of for him is restless napping, whining for meals, and lots of anxiety in between, but then he'll perk up for an hour or two and show us glimpses of his old happy self, it makes the knowing so very, very difficult.

We have one last-resort aggressive option to try, if the vet is ok with it given Chester's already fragile state, and if that fails too, it seems that things can only continue on their rapidly declining trajectory. One of the hardest decisions of our life will then be staring us in the face.

Losing your home, losing your much-hoped-for land, and preparing to lose your beloved dog... that's an awful lot on one heart.

Say a prayer for us, will you?